You guuuuuuuuuys! A couple of weeks ago Baby Girl turned two! I can’t even believe that my baby is a full fledged little girl. Two years ago I was so overwhelmed as I held my new perfect baby like she … Continue reading
Calm The F*ck Down: My Life with Anxiety Hey guys, I’m getting real again today. Everyone has something they worry about. E-ver-y-one. But have you ever had that little nagging worry last an unusually long time? Have you ever been … Continue reading
*Warning: strong language and hatred of diseased vermin fuckers. There is a mouse in my fucking house. Like a real, live, disgusting mouse. Complete with beady little eyes and disgusting diseased scratchy feet. And he was on my counter. You … Continue reading
I love BG’s daycare. I could not say enough good things about them, and have! But my one gripe with this whole thing is the wear and tear daycare has on clothes. I do not buy BG the super fancy … Continue reading
I knew as soon as I got pregnant that I couldn’t be a full time Stay At Home Mom. I have had friends stay home with their kids and I always knew it was the hardest job in the world. … Continue reading
OK, people. Get ready because I have something to say. I’m loud and I’m proud! We are a full-time daycare family! I am not ashamed to say that our lifestyle would not suffice on one income alone. I also … Continue reading
OK, Mamas- let’s talk eating! If ever there were a subject I’m passionate about, it’s food! We have some friends who’s kid is an angel. There is not another kid in this land who is as sweet and agreeable and … Continue reading
You know those kids. Those ones. The ones that are little shit disturbers. You know the ones. I got one of those. I admit it… my kid’s a hitter. Sort of. Baby Girl is 20 months. She is in the … Continue reading
I feel like I have been fighting an invisible war. My enemies are my peers, other mothers who know how difficult it is to be a parent to a young child. Ones who know what it’s like on the inside. … Continue reading
Before you have kids the world is a different place. Your time is your own and your ambitions mostly relate to your physical appearance or building your career. Very few people that I know sans kids think about much else (with the exception of getting laid). If I saw a lady on the street with her kids, I would out her in the “Mom” box. I assumed that she was a harried, stay-at-home mom with a lot on her plate. I had a much more liberal view than most, but still I put her in that box.
The only exception was the “Well-Dressed Mom” with her tight fitting jeans and trendy blazer, sunnies perched casually atop a perfect blowout with just the right amount of make up and jewellery. I envied that mom because even without kids I would never look that put together. But I was sure that by the time I had kids, I would have it figured out.
In my head I dismissed these people because their values and ambitions could not possibly align with my own. I mean, what could we have in common? I didn’t have kids and surely they consumed her whole life. I assumed she was in a league with other like-minded moms who all got together to let their children run amok while they gossiped over coffee while we kidless got on with the real work.
Now, through my mom-coloured glasses (yes, Americanos, up here in Canadatown we spell it with a ‘u’), I realize what a complete moron I was being. To be honest, until I was a mother, I didn’t even realize I was doing it. I just glanced an amused, condescending glance at them as they sauntered by with their child looking adorable, while they looked exhausted and made a mental note to never neglect myself like that when I became a mom and to always at least have jeans on when I left the house*.
But Moms are people too. They are seen as the vehicle (both literal and figurative) for their children to evolve into proper human beings but they never stop being the same person they were before children. They just evolve and expand into someone with a larger view and different priorities.
As a side note, I refuse to go into the Stay At Home Mom vs Working Mom debate because the whole thing is ridiculous. Everyone’s circumstances are different, with different needs and both resent each other for getting to live the life they didn’t get to. Regardless of whether or not you work a job, kids are exhausting. Being a parent is exhausting. It’s full time, 24/7 worrying, work and endless To Do lists. And it CAN become all-consuming. But…
Moms are people too. Just because we had kids, doesn’t mean our ambitions went away, they just expanded. Just because we had kids doesn’t mean we don’t have dreams, they just changed. Or they didn’t change but now we get to find another way of making them real. Just because we had kids doesn’t mean we don’t care about the way we look, in fact, we may care more since more damage has been done. We just prioritize other things first and sometimes there just isn’t anything left in us to put on anything other than leggings.
So let’s give ourselves a break Mamas. Don’t pay any attention to the judgy kidless stares and the snide passive aggressive comments. You have enough on your plate.
*This is truly hilarious since even before I had kids, I lived my life in Lululemons regardless of where I was. There was even a time during finals in my fourth year at University, that I wore the same pair of pyjama pants for like a week straight.